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One Side: Beth

At times she films me while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a jumpscare.

My best friend of 10 years, Marielle, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a short while, but it strains our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything constantly. When we eat out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates vlogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I’ll have no makeup on, an awkward face or be captured while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to another person, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me serving as her free crew. She could easily hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my discomfort about this arrangement, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend assisting her make content.

I’m grateful that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don’t feel she's insincere or inauthentic, but sometimes it seems that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me smiling with someone. It’s so silly. I need her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love being with her, but I also want to experience it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an audience. I am not a accessory for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the content we make together can get us an opportunity.

I love shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online allows me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your passions. I admire people on social platforms who pull off that style of casual, DIY film-making.

Creating content is my interpretation of engaging with life: noticing the nuances, posting them with an audience that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uneasy. Taking her to professional gatherings was my method of offering access, giving her a opportunity to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could help her professional path too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being realistic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the work we make together can achieve: a foot in the door. I know not everyone likes being filmed, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes material authentic. Being recorded from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my private filmmaker, but companions support one another in small ways. I thought filming a short video here or there would be enjoyable for her. Innovation flourishes in partnership, and having Beth around makes endeavors lively and enjoyable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and want to avoid making videos to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to compromise: like asking before recording, and steering clear of angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Clearly making content is not a replacement for real connection: it’s just part of how I experience life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and her friend when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a friend film you. I get that it's her job, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to create content with. Given the dark, looming future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys creating, that doesn't imply all those around her is willing material. She must to respect her friend's privacy.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and showing off her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she needs to listen to what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the focus in your friendship. Foster some real experiences, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. Even celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be neither present nor genuine when they're together – she’s working. Both seem confused as to what’s reasonable. The solution lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined boundaries around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their friendship?